Man-date March
There should be little doubt at this point that some females are out of touch with reality in terms of opposite-sex dating entitlements. Or perhaps they are in touch but just don’t give a s**t, remaining more concerned with how their décolletage looks on a daily basis than with buying dinner for a male in any situation. Clearly for some, the “who pays?” current state rule is not about the individual male, it is about the pay.
The most effective reality check is a hit in the purse strings, and Last Call accordingly recommends the creation of a United Genders month during which the new March Mandate will be in effect. This mandate requires that females—whether models or not—cover their own F-BET expenses while in the company of a male or male group during the entire month of March.
Stated differently for the breadweiners, the male will refrain from paying for female-consumed F-BET services as well as from giving any gifts. Males will only pay for their fair share while in the company of the female and will buy gifts only for themselves. As for any males concerned that they might give the appearance of not being a gentleman, the previous section should put one at ease about not paying for everything. In other words, it will not be a reflection on how good a catch one is in the eye of the opposite sex. And, just in case, the words cheap and cheapskate will be banned from use during the whole month. Whew.
Why March? There are at least four reasons why March is the perfect month for the Mandate. It is the first month right after the two formally recognized American partnership gift-giving holidays: Christmas/Hanukah and Valentines’ Day. Second, there is plenty of sports action to keep the male occupied, for example, the NCAA basketball Final Four, the National Basketball Association regular season, the National Hockey League regular season and Major League Baseball spring training. Third, it is one of the longest months of the year, really. Finally, March is derived in part from the name of the Greek god “Mars,” and we all know by now that men are from Mars.
For any females who might have some “personal concerns” about the March Mandate, please let me point out that it is only one of twelve months in the calendar year. Sacrificing two or three pairs of high heels between Marches should make everything just fine.
However, it is recognized that the March Mandate could hit the females who have more than one date during a March week or weekend especially hard. For them, forfeiting one date and sitting home reading a book, perhaps rereading Last Call, could go a long way toward alleviating some of the associated financial pain. The good news is that any future company time co-pay and dating deductible requirements will naturally be suspended during March, since everyone will be paying their fair share. Obviously, such fair share first dates will never be counted toward that decade’s “paid for” limit.
The March Mandate will of course include provisions for certain exceptions. All related females—mothers, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, daughters, and wives—are naturally not covered by the mandate. Additionally, females with birthdays in March (b-day week only), and the mother or mothers of a male’s child or children will be exempt, including expecting baby mommas as well. Since direct pay situations—for example, strippers, happy ending masseuses, dominatrix, “escorts” and prostitutes—do not usually command much in the way of F-BET expenses, they are not a consideration during the mandate either.
The hope is that if the March Mandate is widely respected and followed it could actually get both males and females who elect to share company time in public to like each other just for their company. Perhaps even gentleman and chivalry-type activities would be given more credit, such as opening doors, pulling out chairs, helping with coats, curbside walking and calling the next day.
The March Mandate might even help remove money and the associated subsidization of F-BET expenses from the intimacy equation altogether. By removing the money variable from the spend presentation side of the male/female intimacy equation, it could leave charm, inclusive of gentlemanly ways, as the main “tool” variable of the male’s approach. The use of one’s charm and power would be the two variables a male can use—assuming they have at least one, if not both—to pursue a female sexually, independent of any partnership “team-oriented” funding. That would be a beautiful day in America people.
Another anticipated outcome is that a new-found respect might arise for how quickly expenses can add up when funding one’s own F-BET services on a regular basis. That the female may realize that there truly is a difference between non-transferrable and transferrable dating expenses, and the male may realize that, in terms of self-satisfaction, spending money on oneself can equal or even exceed paying for another. The male might begin dedicating less money to immediately perishable goods such as food and beverages which leaves behind nothing to show for his income.
As the male gains such awareness, he may begin considering the fact that the “other” can outright afford to pay their way in the first place. It is anticipated the small [wink] subset of females who have yet to give these matters any real thought might grasp that, “the male has had not only to pay for himself, but for the female’s entire fair share as well? Talk about personal shopping spree-kill!”
Last Call’s advice to a female wishing to wine and dine within her own means is simple, especially those “big spenders” at restaurants when it is someone else’s dough. First, order only what you can fully consume at the moment. Do not attempt to consume at the level of your accompanying males if in fact they have more money. The key is to resist the temptation to order above one’s “without males present” self-subsidized menu selection. Unless they can afford it themselves, items such as truffles, caviar and lobster should remain off-limits no matter how well off current male company is.
Also, recognize that mixed drink concoctions are in many cases double or even triple the price of the beer the male may be drinking, at least when ordering a “double.” And when it comes to tequila, you might consider going with a generic brand or none at all. In fact, one might want to avoid shots altogether, since they do not give a comparable sip-per-dollar value.
Last Call’s advice to human jungle venues with bottle service is to consider suspending it, since the March Mandate will render such splurging by the male officially off limits. The good news is that during March neither gender can be blamed for getting the other drunk and ripe for sex.
Another benefit of the mandate is that females who rarely say thank you will not have any reason to—a relief for all involved. She will have nothing to be thankful for, unless of course the male actually figures out a way to “hit it” during any ensuing post-public outing sex act.
As for apology situations, Last Call believes they could be a voluntary condition of the March Mandate, at least from the male’s perspective. Similar to many females, he will refrain from apologizing on any kind of regular basis, especially when he knows he did no wrong. He can leave the rest of the year to apologize not just for when he is truly wrong, but also for when he is right or when he does not even know that there is something wrong.